5 ways to maintain a healthy relationship

Getting into a relationship is one thing. Staying in a healthy one? That’s the real work.
Whether you’re dating in Lagos traffic or juggling time zones between London and Houston, these five habits can keep your connection strong.

1. Keep talking – even when it’s awkward

Healthy couples don’t avoid tough conversations; they learn how to have them with respect.

• Say how you feel without attacking:

  “I felt ignored yesterday when you didn’t check in,” not “You don’t care about me.”

• Listen fully before defending yourself.

• Use voice notes or calls for serious topics – not long paragraphs that can be misread.

Regular check-ins like, “How are we doing?” or “Anything bothering you?” stop small issues from turning into silent wars.

2. Protect your friendship, not just the romance

Butterflies are nice, but a strong relationship is built on friendship.

• Laugh together. Share memes, gist, inside jokes.

• Support each other’s goals – exams, career moves, side hustles.

• Be genuinely curious about their world: family, culture, faith, dreams.

Ask yourself: “If the romance paused for a moment, would I still enjoy this person as a friend?”
If the answer is yes, you’re building something solid.

3. Set boundaries that make both of you feel safe

Love without boundaries quickly turns into stress.

Talk openly about:

• Social media behaviour (DMs, likes, comments)

• How often you’re comfortable texting or calling

• What feels disrespectful when it comes to exes, friends or nights out

Boundaries aren’t rules to control each other; they’re agreements that say:

“I care about how my actions affect you, and I want us both to feel secure.”

Revisit them as life changes – new job, moving city, long distance, etc.

4. Fight fair – no dragging, no score-keeping

Arguments are normal. How you fight determines how healthy your relationship is.

Try to avoid:

• Insults, name-calling or bringing up old wounds to win

• Threatening to break up every time you’re angry

• Involving the whole family WhatsApp group in private issues

Instead:

• Focus on the current issue, not every mistake since 2018

• Take breaks when emotions are too high: “Let’s pause and talk in an hour.”

• End serious discussions with a plan: “Next time, let’s do X instead.”

The goal is not to win the argument – it’s to fix the problem.

5. Keep choosing each other, on purpose

Healthy relationships don’t run on autopilot. They stay strong because both people keep showing up.

• Plan small things: video-call dates, walks, movie nights, prayer together.

• Appreciate each other out loud: “Thank you for checking on me today,” “I’m proud of you.”

• Do little surprises – a voice note, food delivery, a cute text.

Life will get busy. Work will stress you. Distance may happen.
But when both of you commit to saying, in actions:

“You’re still my person,”

the relationship has room to grow through it all.

Final reminder

There’s no perfect couple anywhere – not in Naija, not in the diaspora.
Healthy relationships aren’t built on perfection; they’re built on honesty, effort and kindness, repeated over time.

Keep talking. Keep choosing each other. Keep growing – together. 💜

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