The People’s Guide To A Brilliant Coffee Date

Coffee dates look simple, but they can be awkward if you just show up, sip latte and stare at your phone. With a little intention, though, they’re one of the best ways to see if there’s real chemistry – without pressure or drama.

Whether you’re meeting in Surulere, Shoreditch or Scarborough, here’s how to make your coffee date genuinely brilliant.

1. Choose the right spot

You don’t need the fanciest café in town, just a place that makes talking easy. Look for:

• Decent noise level – not a club, not a library

• Good lighting (you actually want to see each other)

• Somewhere you feel safe and comfortable

If you suggested the date, offer two options nearby so they can pick what feels best.

2. Arrive as yourself, not your performance

You’re not going for a job interview. You’re going to see if you vibe.

• Dress like a slightly polished version of your normal self

• Be honest about your interests (yes, even your Nollywood obsession)

• Don’t pretend to like coffee if you don’t – order juice, tea or water

The goal isn’t to impress a stranger; it’s to see if you two connect as real people.

3. Use great questions, not interrogation

Small talk is fine for the first 5 minutes. After that, try open questions that invite stories:

• “What does a good weekend look like for you?”

• “What’s one thing you’re excited about this year?”

• “Tell me the story of how you ended up in [city].”

Share your own answers too – a brilliant coffee date feels like two-way curiosity, not an interview panel.

4. Keep it short and sweet

One of the best things about coffee dates is that they’re naturally time-limited.

Plan for 60–90 minutes. If it’s going well, you can stretch it a bit. If it’s not, it’s easy to end with:

“This was nice, I need to head off now – thanks for meeting up.”

Short dates keep energy high and make it easier to look forward to a second meet-up.

5. Respect boundaries (yours and theirs)

A brilliant coffee date also feels safe.

• Meet in public, arrange your own transport

• Use features like Share My Date on KaWink so someone you trust knows where you are

• If something feels off, you’re allowed to end the date early – politely but clearly

No one is entitled to your time or continued attention just because you agreed to coffee.

6. Follow up like an adult

If you enjoyed the date and want to see them again, don’t play games.

Within 24 hours, send something like:

“I had a really good time yesterday – would love to grab coffee again or try that restaurant we talked about next week.”

If you don’t feel a connection, be kind and clear:

“It was nice meeting you, but I don’t feel the romantic vibe I’m looking for. Wishing you all the best.”

Honesty is more attractive than disappearing.

Final sip ☕

A brilliant coffee date isn’t about the perfect drink or the perfect line. It’s about two people showing up as themselves, staying safe, and seeing if there’s enough spark to meet again.

Keep it simple. Keep it kind. Keep it intentional.
The right connection will feel less like performance – and more like a really good conversation you don’t want to end. 💜