Here’s how you can date safely online

Online dating can be fun, convenient and full of potential – especially when you’re trying to meet people across Naija, the UK, US and Canada. But let’s be honest: the streets can also be mad.

Safety isn’t about being paranoid; it’s about being prepared. Here’s a simple guide to protecting your heart, your data and your peace while dating online.

1. Start with a smart profile

Your profile should help people know you – but not be able to locate you.

Share:

• First name (or nickname)

• City (e.g. “Lagos”, “London”, “Toronto”)

• Real photos that actually look like you

Avoid:

• Exact home or work address

• Your phone number, email or social handles in the bio

• Photos with visible ID cards, house numbers, school name badges, etc.

If someone pushes for personal details too quickly (“Send your number, send your WhatsApp, send your house address”), that’s already a yellow flag.

2. Use in-app tools first

Stay inside the app (like KaWink) for as long as possible.

Why? Because:

• You can easily block or report someone if they act weird.

• Your real contact details are protected.

• It’s easier to walk away from a chat than from someone who already has your number everywhere.

When you’re comfortable and the vibes are good, you can move to phone or WhatsApp – but do it on your timeline, not theirs.

3. Watch out for love-bombing and pressure

Some people try to rush intimacy to gain control. It might look like:

• “You’re my soulmate” after two days

• Constant messages demanding your attention 24/7

• Guilt trips when you’re busy: “If you cared you’d reply immediately”

Healthy interest feels steady, not overwhelming.
If someone is moving too fast, you’re allowed to say:

“I like getting to know you, but I prefer to take things slowly.”

If they respect that, great. If they get angry or manipulative, delete + block.

4. Never send money to someone you’ve never met

Dating scams are real – especially across borders.
Common lines to be careful with:

• “My flight money got stuck, can you help?”

• “I need urgent help to clear a package at customs.”

• “I’ll pay you back as soon as my deal lands.”

No matter how sweet, spiritual or convincing they sound, do not send money or share your banking details with someone you haven’t met and built real trust with.

If money becomes the main topic of conversation, step back.

5. Protect your photos and video calls

A few simple rules:

• Be careful with intimate photos or videos – once sent, you lose control.

• If you must send anything private (best advice: don’t), avoid showing your face, tattoos or anything identifiable.

• During video calls, notice what’s visible behind you (documents, kids’ schools, etc.).

Remember: anyone threatening to share your photos is the one in the wrong. Save evidence and report them; do not negotiate or pay.

6. Verify before you invest feelings

Before you fully emotionally commit, gently verify that the person is who they say they are.

You can:

• Ask for a quick video call (even 5–10 minutes).

• Look for small consistency signs: their accent, time zone, background, stories.

• On KaWink, look for features like Selfie Verification to see who has confirmed their photos.

Someone who refuses video calls forever, always has camera “issues” or keeps dodging verification might be hiding something important.

7. Plan smart, safe first meetings

When you’re ready to meet in person:

• Choose a public place (café, restaurant, well-known spot).

• Arrange your own transport to and from the location.

• Tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who you’re meeting.

• Share your live location with someone you trust, if possible.

If you ever feel uncomfortable during the date, you are allowed to:

• End the date early

• Step away to call a friend

• Order your ride and leave

Your safety is more important than “not being rude”.

8. Trust your gut – and act on it

You don’t need “proof” to protect yourself. If something feels off:

• The stories don’t match

• They get angry when you say no

• You feel constantly drained or anxious

… take that feeling seriously.

Mute, unmatch, block or report if needed. You’re not obligated to continue a connection that doesn’t feel safe – emotionally or physically.

9. Keep your support system close

Dating can be exciting, but it’s also emotional work. Have people you can check in with:

• “Does this message sound weird to you?”

• “What do you think about this situation?”

• “I’m feeling uneasy about this; can we talk?”

Friends, siblings, mentors – or even a therapist – can help you spot red flags you might miss when you’re in your feelings.

Final thoughts

Online dating can open doors that real life never would – especially for Nigerians and diaspora singles looking beyond their immediate circles.

Staying safe doesn’t mean being closed; it means being wise.

Set boundaries. Use the tools available. Listen to your instincts.
You deserve a love story that feels exciting and secure – and that starts with how you protect yourself from the very first match.